prancingtrashcan:
“ cynicowl:
“ randomdaisy:
“ limbovulture:
“ @randomdaisy dear herbologist what the fok is this corn dog plant
”
OH MY GOODNESS I SAW THIS ON TWITTER AND I WAS LIKE “OH NO…. DUDE… DUDE NO”
this plant is, in fact, a cattail (Typha...

prancingtrashcan:

cynicowl:

randomdaisy:

limbovulture:

@randomdaisy dear herbologist what the fok is this corn dog plant

OH MY GOODNESS I SAW THIS ON TWITTER AND I WAS LIKE “OH NO…. DUDE… DUDE NO”

this plant is, in fact, a cattail (Typha genus, probably either Typha latifolia or Typha angustifolia). what’s ironic about this person’s encounter is that almost every single part of the cattail is edible– the rhizomes are starchy and, although tough, can be made into a nutritious flour; the stems can be peeled and used like asparagus; the pollen can be gathered and used to extend or supplement flour; and even the green flower spikes can be boiled and eaten like corn-on-the-cob, so this person sort of had the right idea.

the thing is, what this person has in their photo is a BROWN flower spike, meaning that it’s starting to go to seed and is probably a tasteless mouthful of either fiber or fluff. regardless of whether the post is a joke or serious, out of all the edible parts of the cattail, op managed to pick one of the ONLY parts of the plant that isn’t. and i still can’t get over that.

As a side note, rubbing that part of the plant makes an absolutely ridiculous amount of fluff come out (which is how it disperses the seeds). I highly recommend it but it’s probably best to do that when no one else is around

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are you saying i can jack off this plant and it will nut

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

manfuckyopride:

beyoncé: jay u still got kim kardonation’s number?

jay: yea why?

beyoncé: give it to me i have a favor to ask…her and kanye are vacationing in the same spot as azealia banks right now

jay: lord…ok

beyoncé: *dials kim* hey khloe it’s beyoncé

kim: oh my god bey! omg long time no talk! how are you? how’s blue? we need to catch up!! it’s been so long!!!

beyoncé: listen i have a favor to ask 

kim: ok so if i do this you promise we’ll grab lunch when i’m back in LA? 

beyoncé: of course! see you when you get back to new york!  *hangs up*

kim: not new y-  

*10 minutes later* kim and kanye:

image

(via moistn-deactivated20200223)


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